Monday, 4 March 2013
Wednesday, 27 February 2013
64 daughters married in mass wedding ceremony organized at Sarsa
AHMEDABAD: Sixty-four daughters from
different communities of north Gujarat were married off in a mass wedding
organized at Sarsa village near Anand to mark the birthday of Swami
Avichaldasji Maharaj on Wednesday. The wedding was sponsored by Dashrath
Patel, a billionaire businessman from US, whose daughter Ranu is turning 16
soon.
"Sixteenth birthday is a landmark in a child's life in the US where every parent throws a lavish party to celebrate his daughter turning sweet sixteen. I and my wife Chaya were keen that we share this happiness with daughters back home as well," said Dashrath Patel who spent over Rs 25 lakh for the mass wedding where 64 girls got married.
Each daughter was given five pairs of sarees and a kit of utensils and other items of daily use to help her start the family life. The function was presided over by Swami Avichaldasji Maharaj.
For the past 10 years, Avichaldasji has been organizing mass weddings on his birthday to enable poor parents marry off their daughters without borrowing money from loan sharks. "We realized that most parents, especially poor people, resent having daughters as they see them as a financial burden. We decided to give a helping hand to the parents to get their girls married so that the girl child is not resented but loved", said Avichaldasji.
The swami said that he believes that the religious and spiritual leaders can contribute majorly to the cause of saving the girl child. However, there is need for more people like Dashrath Patel to come forward and donate for social causes.
"While there are lakhs of people who donate for religious reasons, people should also come forward to share the financial burdens of the needy especially during social occasions like weddings. This would go a long way in making people respect and welcome girl child in the family", the swami said.
"Sixteenth birthday is a landmark in a child's life in the US where every parent throws a lavish party to celebrate his daughter turning sweet sixteen. I and my wife Chaya were keen that we share this happiness with daughters back home as well," said Dashrath Patel who spent over Rs 25 lakh for the mass wedding where 64 girls got married.
Each daughter was given five pairs of sarees and a kit of utensils and other items of daily use to help her start the family life. The function was presided over by Swami Avichaldasji Maharaj.
For the past 10 years, Avichaldasji has been organizing mass weddings on his birthday to enable poor parents marry off their daughters without borrowing money from loan sharks. "We realized that most parents, especially poor people, resent having daughters as they see them as a financial burden. We decided to give a helping hand to the parents to get their girls married so that the girl child is not resented but loved", said Avichaldasji.
The swami said that he believes that the religious and spiritual leaders can contribute majorly to the cause of saving the girl child. However, there is need for more people like Dashrath Patel to come forward and donate for social causes.
"While there are lakhs of people who donate for religious reasons, people should also come forward to share the financial burdens of the needy especially during social occasions like weddings. This would go a long way in making people respect and welcome girl child in the family", the swami said.
Wednesday, 20 February 2013
Eight wards shame Mumbai with skewed sex
ratio at birth
MUMBAI: While the civic administration's statistics show that the sex ratio at birth
for Mumbai has improved slightly in the last one year, experts are not too
impressed. They say that the administration has to sustain such results over a
decade before there is any significant change in the city's or even India's
skewed sex ratio.
A senior civic official, however, insisted that any increase, however small, is a step in the right direction.
Both Maharashtra and Mumbai, in particular, have shown an anti-girl bias in the last two census.
Civic figures show that the sex ratio at birth - the number of girls born per 1,000 boys - for 2012 was 922:1,000, up from 917 in 2011. But a closer look at the ward-wise break-up shows that eight wards have registered a dip in sex ratio at birth.
In south Mumbai's Pydhonie area, for instance, only 860 girls were born for every 1,000 boys last year.
In 2011, the locality was placed better at 981 girls per 1,000 boys. In fact, the Pydhonie-Byculla-Parel belt of the island city, the prosperous Goregaon-Malad-Kandivli belt of the western suburbs and the populous belt from Bhandup to Ghatkopar in the eastern suburbs have all shown a dip in sex ratio at birth.
A L Sharada from the NGO, Population First, said it would be premature to think that such marginal increase is of any significance. She added that easy access to medical tools such as ultrasound machines, which can illegally be used to find the sex of the unborn child, was responsible for the skewed sex ratio.
"The cost of living in Mumbai is high. People want small families and still have a great desire for a male child. This is true in both the slums as well as non-slum pockets of the city," she said.
Sharada added that the BMC should now study why certain areas, such as Parel in south central Mumbai, have consistently registered a lower-than-city-average sex ratio.
Her NGO had earlier conducted a survey to underline poor adherence among ultrasound clinics of the rules laid down under the Pre-Conception and Pre-Natal Diagnostic Technique (Prohibition of Sex Selection) Act.
"Until there is stringent conviction for offenders and better gender sensitivity among the population, the problem of skewed sex ratio at birth cannot be solved," said Kamayani Bali Mahabal, Forum Against Sex Selection.
A senior civic official, however, insisted that any increase, however small, is a step in the right direction.
Both Maharashtra and Mumbai, in particular, have shown an anti-girl bias in the last two census.
Civic figures show that the sex ratio at birth - the number of girls born per 1,000 boys - for 2012 was 922:1,000, up from 917 in 2011. But a closer look at the ward-wise break-up shows that eight wards have registered a dip in sex ratio at birth.
In south Mumbai's Pydhonie area, for instance, only 860 girls were born for every 1,000 boys last year.
In 2011, the locality was placed better at 981 girls per 1,000 boys. In fact, the Pydhonie-Byculla-Parel belt of the island city, the prosperous Goregaon-Malad-Kandivli belt of the western suburbs and the populous belt from Bhandup to Ghatkopar in the eastern suburbs have all shown a dip in sex ratio at birth.
A L Sharada from the NGO, Population First, said it would be premature to think that such marginal increase is of any significance. She added that easy access to medical tools such as ultrasound machines, which can illegally be used to find the sex of the unborn child, was responsible for the skewed sex ratio.
"The cost of living in Mumbai is high. People want small families and still have a great desire for a male child. This is true in both the slums as well as non-slum pockets of the city," she said.
Sharada added that the BMC should now study why certain areas, such as Parel in south central Mumbai, have consistently registered a lower-than-city-average sex ratio.
Her NGO had earlier conducted a survey to underline poor adherence among ultrasound clinics of the rules laid down under the Pre-Conception and Pre-Natal Diagnostic Technique (Prohibition of Sex Selection) Act.
"Until there is stringent conviction for offenders and better gender sensitivity among the population, the problem of skewed sex ratio at birth cannot be solved," said Kamayani Bali Mahabal, Forum Against Sex Selection.
Saturday, 16 February 2013
Monday, 11 February 2013
New Terms of Endearment
New Terms of Endearment: Instant love and sex with no emotional baggage. Young urban India redefines relationships
If there's a day when Shashank Wahi, 21, doesn't party, it's on Valentine's Day. For the self-confessed hater of the red hearts-and-balloons ritual, dating is all about "picking up the right chick". No love, no commitment. "We party, have fun and then part ways with no phone numbers, no names, no hard feelings," says the Armani-clad Delhi University student who scours the Capital's upscale nightclubs thrice a week.
Welcome to the age of instant-hook-ups-and-instant-break-ups where a 'date' means heady partying and 'commitment' is oh-so-passe. Men and women no longer 'fall in love'; they are 'in a relationship' and when matters start going wrong, it merely gets 'complicated'; there are no 'heartbreaks'. Flooded with options, the urban youth now wants to explore and experiment. No one bats an eyelid when they hear that their friends are sleeping together; it's all about discovering the other before thinking of commitment. Gone are the days when men wooed girls with silly Hallmark cards and women listened to Backstreet Boys on loop. These are times of tough love, quick gratification and commitment phobia. "The new rule of dating says don't get emotionally involved unless you're sure of the person," says Vikrant Gaba, 22, a finance consultant in Mumbai for whom strobe-lit nightclubs are the perfect place to meet potential dates. An online Valentine's Day poll by india today in February 2013 shows that 28 per cent of the respondents are already indulging in casual sex with multiple partners and 41 per cent crave to get lucky.
New Rules of the Dating Game
The new dating mantra for the urban youth is the Rules of the Macha, which means best friend in Malayalam, the desi version of the western Bro Code. Machas get together for some fun on a night-out. Inspired by sitcoms like How I Met Your Mother and Two and a Half Men, new-age lovers don't want the emotional baggage. "Dating is all about exploring all options, going dancing with a guy who will pick up the tab and then saying goodbye without waiting anxiously for him to call you the next day," says Supriya Khurana, 24, a film animation artist in Mumbai. For her, and other chick code loyalists, the term boyfriend is too cheesy; the men in their bedroom are Schnukums, Mr Big, Man Toy or HottieWith casual being key, young couples are snipping those emotional strings and trading commitment for fun. Teenagers proudly state they are in combolationships or complicated relationships where the status can change from committed to single in a matter of hours. "There is too much stress around anyway. Why would you want to add to it with tears and fights?" says Anuja Singh, 26, a Mumbai DJ who lives in with her boyfriend of two years and shares an 'open' relationship.
Contrast this with an earlier generation where courting couples dreamed of walking down the aisle. India's GenNext wants to discover and explore before taking the vows. Some are even glad to take the matrimonial sites route for a suitable match when relationships get sour. "Once you've had all the fun, you want to settle down with a person who will offer stability and fit into the family," says Bangalore-based engineer Jayant Srivastava, 27, who has hooked up with "at least two dozen women" and is opting for an arranged marriage.
The mindset is evident from the findings of the 10th annual INDIA TODAY-Nielsen sex survey of November 2012, which show that despite growing access to casual sex, 65 per cent of urban men still prefer their spouses who are virgins. "This generation that holidays and studies in foreign lands and grows up listening to (rapper) Eminem is stuck between an open Western culture and traditional values. It's neither here nor there," says Sulochana Desai, a former sociology teacher in Mumbai.
Love Bites and Love Bytes
Blame it on international sitcoms where casual sex is cool or recent Bollywood flicks which celebrate the playboy, popular culture is fuelling no-strings-attached relationships. "It could be the influence of Western entertainment, but the nature of dating has completely changed today in India. Youngsters are less afraid to experiment and switch partners. Casual relationships are seen as cool and romance is labelled as gay," says Sanjoy Mukherji, a Mumbai-based relationship counsellor and psychiatrist.
In the iPad era, youngsters are hooking up on Facebook (FB) or following potential love interests on Twitter. Smartphones and apps have made flirting fast and furious at the click of a key and 140 character declarations of interest can bring a partner into bed. From a tweet to a shared 'like', anything can make the heart beat faster. When Delhi writer Sheetal Mehta, 25, saw pilot Rohit Shaan, 27, share her love for 'Boondein' by indie pop band Silk Route, she sent him a friend request on FB in May 2011, and began a whirlwind long distance romance. A year later, they realised "that the virtual persona and real-life personality didn't match" and called it quits.
Help for the Hapless
For those who don't get lucky on FB, dating sites and meet-ups are helping singles in the city find a perfect match. From getting together on the dance floor at nightspots like Blue Frog and Aurus to bonding over P.G. Wodehouse and Gary Larson, dating sites such as Mypurplemartini.com and Meetup.com are the new meeting places for the lonely heart. If some promise to set you up during cook-outs and car racing sessions, others take the tried-and-tested 'a lot can happen over coffee' route with meetings at Costa and Barista. A Mumbai-based dating site Sirfcoffee.com promises to set people up based on their common choices after vetting their detailed applications. "Urban singles are rich and ready to mingle; they just need a platform to meet other like-minded people. Some want serious relationships but most want to hang out and have fun with people who share music and cocktail interests," says Sahil Sharma, who runs a singles club in Pune. There's also help for those on-the-go with sites like Meetattheairport.com where fliers post their location and meet others headed for the same terminal
Don't Need a Happily Ever After
In the 140-character world, break-ups are as swift as hook-ups. A flirty post, an unsuitable picture or a 'hurtful' tweet can bring the relationship crashing down. Where the music matters more than the man, lack of compatibility over clubbing is reason enough to call it quits. For Janice Mascarenhas, 24, love took a backseat after her boyfriend refused to take her for Spanish pop singer Enrique Iglesias's concert in Pune last year. "Why be with a man who doesn't keep me happy?" says the Mumbai-based interior designer who is now dating a man with similar tastes in music and movies
With instant love comes uncontrollable envy as Kota-based student Urmila Jain, 19, discovered when she saw a picture of her boyfriend, Jasmeet Singh, hugging a girl. Her relationship status promptly went to 'single'. "Even after five years of being together, I couldn't convince her that the girl was my cousin. Facebook and Twitter have made people so presumptuous and irrational. We are governed by what we see and not what we think," says Jasmeet.
Psychologists call it a sign of the instant times where romance is fickle and deep bonds are missing. "Love has become very impersonal and fleeting in nature today and technology plays a big role in it by keeping people from developing personal bonds. In real life, it means people are happy to switch partners without batting an eyelid," says Yash Singh, Delhi-based relationship counsellor.
Parents Play Catch-Up
Parents, too, are fast adapting to the date-and-dump culture, often turning a blind eye to their kids' dalliances. Shobha Kapur, 50, a Chandigarh-based mother of teenagers aged 19 and 17, is aware of her sons' girlfriends but chooses to stay mum. "The peer pressure is so high that they will do what is considered cool. I'm happy that at least they play it safe," she says.
The transition from wild heady partying to matrimony isn't a cakewalk for all. After a series of failed real relationships and two Facebook affairs with older women, including one much married housewife, the Chandigarh journalist Sukant Deepak, 32, is sure of never getting married to "maintain his emotional space".
The fast and furious lives of their children are giving parents like Sangeeta Saxena, 48, sleepless nights. The Chandigarh homemaker cannot find a 'respectable' groom for her 24-year-old daughter Aastha who has had three boyfriends in two years. "My daughter does not want marriage; she says she just wants to have fun. Her plan for the future is to 'chill out'. The situation is beginning to worry me now as she has become the subject of gossip in the neighbourhood. How will I find someone to marry her if she is against serious commitment?" says the anxious mother
For Some, Old's Still Gold
Even as quick flings and cyber dating start to become common, there are still some who dream of the perfect romantic happily-ever-after. Despite five heartbreaks, for Shilpi Rai, 18, a student of Delhi University, the 'knight in shining armour' fantasy still holds true. "I don't want a life that is based on text messages, electronic love and physical intimacy. I want emotional connection and real-life romance. My friends call me old-fashioned and gullible. But I feel I am just a believer," she says. In times of quickies, not all are as hopeful. In Kolkata, Surbhi Chatterjee, 20, went from being a topper to college dropout and commitment-phobic overnight after she caught her boyfriend of four years cheating on her. "Just because I did not want to have sex with him, he was sleeping with other girls," she saysEven Bollywood has caught on to the trend. The out-of-control bunch of friends in Bejoy Nambiar's Shaitaan may have shocked those oblivious of the mindset of today's youth and struck fear into the hearts of most parents but even the more candyfloss cinema isn't blind to new notions of love. Arjun Kapoor's character in Ishaqzaade thinks nothing of seducing and sleeping with the enemy to teach her a lesson, reflecting that the youth in India's Tier II towns are also waking up to premarital sex. Anushka Sharma in late Yash Chopra's Jab Tak Hai Jaan is proud to belong to the "instant make-out, instant break-up generation". And Alia Bhatt's glam character, the Indian version of Gossip Girl, who effortlessly falls out of love with one guy and instantly falls in ishqwala love with another in Student of the Year, has made the debutante actress a teenage heartthrob.
Be it celluloid or middle-class drawing rooms, the modern love story, has given chocolates-and-candy romance a wide berth. For the GenNext lovers, it's right here, right now. They don't always dream of the happily ever after.
The new dating mantra for the urban youth is the Rules of the Macha, which means best friend in Malayalam, the desi version of the western Bro Code. Machas get together for some fun on a night-out. Inspired by sitcoms like How I Met Your Mother and Two and a Half Men, new-age lovers don't want the emotional baggage. "Dating is all about exploring all options, going dancing with a guy who will pick up the tab and then saying goodbye without waiting anxiously for him to call you the next day," says Supriya Khurana, 24, a film animation artist in Mumbai. For her, and other chick code loyalists, the term boyfriend is too cheesy; the men in their bedroom are Schnukums, Mr Big, Man Toy or HottieWith casual being key, young couples are snipping those emotional strings and trading commitment for fun. Teenagers proudly state they are in combolationships or complicated relationships where the status can change from committed to single in a matter of hours. "There is too much stress around anyway. Why would you want to add to it with tears and fights?" says Anuja Singh, 26, a Mumbai DJ who lives in with her boyfriend of two years and shares an 'open' relationship.
Contrast this with an earlier generation where courting couples dreamed of walking down the aisle. India's GenNext wants to discover and explore before taking the vows. Some are even glad to take the matrimonial sites route for a suitable match when relationships get sour. "Once you've had all the fun, you want to settle down with a person who will offer stability and fit into the family," says Bangalore-based engineer Jayant Srivastava, 27, who has hooked up with "at least two dozen women" and is opting for an arranged marriage.
The mindset is evident from the findings of the 10th annual INDIA TODAY-Nielsen sex survey of November 2012, which show that despite growing access to casual sex, 65 per cent of urban men still prefer their spouses who are virgins. "This generation that holidays and studies in foreign lands and grows up listening to (rapper) Eminem is stuck between an open Western culture and traditional values. It's neither here nor there," says Sulochana Desai, a former sociology teacher in Mumbai.
Love Bites and Love Bytes
Blame it on international sitcoms where casual sex is cool or recent Bollywood flicks which celebrate the playboy, popular culture is fuelling no-strings-attached relationships. "It could be the influence of Western entertainment, but the nature of dating has completely changed today in India. Youngsters are less afraid to experiment and switch partners. Casual relationships are seen as cool and romance is labelled as gay," says Sanjoy Mukherji, a Mumbai-based relationship counsellor and psychiatrist.
In the iPad era, youngsters are hooking up on Facebook (FB) or following potential love interests on Twitter. Smartphones and apps have made flirting fast and furious at the click of a key and 140 character declarations of interest can bring a partner into bed. From a tweet to a shared 'like', anything can make the heart beat faster. When Delhi writer Sheetal Mehta, 25, saw pilot Rohit Shaan, 27, share her love for 'Boondein' by indie pop band Silk Route, she sent him a friend request on FB in May 2011, and began a whirlwind long distance romance. A year later, they realised "that the virtual persona and real-life personality didn't match" and called it quits.
Help for the Hapless
For those who don't get lucky on FB, dating sites and meet-ups are helping singles in the city find a perfect match. From getting together on the dance floor at nightspots like Blue Frog and Aurus to bonding over P.G. Wodehouse and Gary Larson, dating sites such as Mypurplemartini.com and Meetup.com are the new meeting places for the lonely heart. If some promise to set you up during cook-outs and car racing sessions, others take the tried-and-tested 'a lot can happen over coffee' route with meetings at Costa and Barista. A Mumbai-based dating site Sirfcoffee.com promises to set people up based on their common choices after vetting their detailed applications. "Urban singles are rich and ready to mingle; they just need a platform to meet other like-minded people. Some want serious relationships but most want to hang out and have fun with people who share music and cocktail interests," says Sahil Sharma, who runs a singles club in Pune. There's also help for those on-the-go with sites like Meetattheairport.com where fliers post their location and meet others headed for the same terminal
Don't Need a Happily Ever After
In the 140-character world, break-ups are as swift as hook-ups. A flirty post, an unsuitable picture or a 'hurtful' tweet can bring the relationship crashing down. Where the music matters more than the man, lack of compatibility over clubbing is reason enough to call it quits. For Janice Mascarenhas, 24, love took a backseat after her boyfriend refused to take her for Spanish pop singer Enrique Iglesias's concert in Pune last year. "Why be with a man who doesn't keep me happy?" says the Mumbai-based interior designer who is now dating a man with similar tastes in music and movies
With instant love comes uncontrollable envy as Kota-based student Urmila Jain, 19, discovered when she saw a picture of her boyfriend, Jasmeet Singh, hugging a girl. Her relationship status promptly went to 'single'. "Even after five years of being together, I couldn't convince her that the girl was my cousin. Facebook and Twitter have made people so presumptuous and irrational. We are governed by what we see and not what we think," says Jasmeet.
Psychologists call it a sign of the instant times where romance is fickle and deep bonds are missing. "Love has become very impersonal and fleeting in nature today and technology plays a big role in it by keeping people from developing personal bonds. In real life, it means people are happy to switch partners without batting an eyelid," says Yash Singh, Delhi-based relationship counsellor.
Parents Play Catch-Up
Parents, too, are fast adapting to the date-and-dump culture, often turning a blind eye to their kids' dalliances. Shobha Kapur, 50, a Chandigarh-based mother of teenagers aged 19 and 17, is aware of her sons' girlfriends but chooses to stay mum. "The peer pressure is so high that they will do what is considered cool. I'm happy that at least they play it safe," she says.
The transition from wild heady partying to matrimony isn't a cakewalk for all. After a series of failed real relationships and two Facebook affairs with older women, including one much married housewife, the Chandigarh journalist Sukant Deepak, 32, is sure of never getting married to "maintain his emotional space".
The fast and furious lives of their children are giving parents like Sangeeta Saxena, 48, sleepless nights. The Chandigarh homemaker cannot find a 'respectable' groom for her 24-year-old daughter Aastha who has had three boyfriends in two years. "My daughter does not want marriage; she says she just wants to have fun. Her plan for the future is to 'chill out'. The situation is beginning to worry me now as she has become the subject of gossip in the neighbourhood. How will I find someone to marry her if she is against serious commitment?" says the anxious mother
For Some, Old's Still Gold
Even as quick flings and cyber dating start to become common, there are still some who dream of the perfect romantic happily-ever-after. Despite five heartbreaks, for Shilpi Rai, 18, a student of Delhi University, the 'knight in shining armour' fantasy still holds true. "I don't want a life that is based on text messages, electronic love and physical intimacy. I want emotional connection and real-life romance. My friends call me old-fashioned and gullible. But I feel I am just a believer," she says. In times of quickies, not all are as hopeful. In Kolkata, Surbhi Chatterjee, 20, went from being a topper to college dropout and commitment-phobic overnight after she caught her boyfriend of four years cheating on her. "Just because I did not want to have sex with him, he was sleeping with other girls," she saysEven Bollywood has caught on to the trend. The out-of-control bunch of friends in Bejoy Nambiar's Shaitaan may have shocked those oblivious of the mindset of today's youth and struck fear into the hearts of most parents but even the more candyfloss cinema isn't blind to new notions of love. Arjun Kapoor's character in Ishaqzaade thinks nothing of seducing and sleeping with the enemy to teach her a lesson, reflecting that the youth in India's Tier II towns are also waking up to premarital sex. Anushka Sharma in late Yash Chopra's Jab Tak Hai Jaan is proud to belong to the "instant make-out, instant break-up generation". And Alia Bhatt's glam character, the Indian version of Gossip Girl, who effortlessly falls out of love with one guy and instantly falls in ishqwala love with another in Student of the Year, has made the debutante actress a teenage heartthrob.
Be it celluloid or middle-class drawing rooms, the modern love story, has given chocolates-and-candy romance a wide berth. For the GenNext lovers, it's right here, right now. They don't always dream of the happily ever after.
Secret life of Indian teens
"I am a virgin. But I know everything about everything," Mimi, a 15-year-old Bangalore girl, flips her ponytail, looking around to make sure all eyes are on her. "Everyone I know has touched first base, at least." That's "kissing and necking", she explains to her parents. Notes are regularly exchanged between girls after sexual encounters and discarded i-Pill packs are often found in the bathrooms of the posh convent she studies in. "I'm sure you won't remain a virgin by the time you turn 18," her mother interjects tearfully. "Dude, will you let me finish," Mimi rebukes. "I'm not stupid enough to get into trouble."
Trouble is the one certain truth about her: she is a teenager. A face among the nation's 250 million adolescents- the world's largest. But how well does the nation know her? Not enough, going by the furore over the new Protection of Children From Sexual Offences Bill, 2010 proposed by the Ministry of Women and Child Development ("Does it mean 12-year-olds will start having sex?"). But now a host of surveys is figuring out what it means to be a teenager: they pack in 38 hours of activities into a day- work, chat, browse, talk, SMS, Twitter, Facebook, smoke, drink, splurge, do drugs, have sex, get pregnant-and they can't wait for the future to arrive. Unknown to the nation at large, teenage seems to have taken on a whole new meaning. To Delhibased counsellor Gitanjali Kapoor, it's a cultural moment: "Constant exposure of different types of media is enhancing their inquisitiveness, encouraging them to question and stretch their boundaries."
Not that the teens care. For them, it's LOL (Lots Of Love) all the way. Sex is cool because, gosh, everybody's doing it. Twenty-five out of 100 teenage girls in a big-city school are sexually active, reports the Indian Association of Paediatricians. But to Taki, 19, a Delhi girl (who prefers to be known by her nickname like the rest of her peer group in this story), that's a gross underassessment: "Over 75 per cent of my classmates are not virgins". Some of them are into serious romance, some are "just FWBs" ("Friends With Benefits. Not dating but together... just a convenience thing".) Some boys carry condoms in their pockets because they don't know when "they might get lucky". During high school socials, dark corners of the venue are "reserved" by couples beforehand, so that they can go and "do it" in a crowded room, "just for the thrill of it", Mimi explains.
In the world of adults, statistic is truth. And surveys reveal*, it's a generation that spends 10 hours a day on some sort of a media, two hours on social networking sites, 1.6 hours on the phone, four hours 23 minutes a week on computer games. While 66 per cent carry mobile phones to school, 47 per cent can't live without TV. Over 45 per cent drink alcohol five times a month and 14 per cent use tobacco. Yet 70 per cent teens show signs of depression and 48 per cent think about suicide. A survey released by one of Bollywood's biggest hits last year, Udaan-all about a 17-year-old boy, who gets expelled from boarding school for sneaking out to watch a semi-porn film-shows: one in five teens watches porn before age 13; every second teen necks and kisses, 15 per cent in the school loo; one out of five claims to have had sex; 90 per cent believe in premarital sex, with 45 per cent of girls opting for clandestine abortions.
If every generation needs a cultural marker, Facebook is the canvas on which the digitally nimble teens spill their secrets. What used to be the rush to the school canteen to tell everyone what's going on has become the rush to social networking sites. "We are the original Facebook generation," says Soapy, 17, a Kolkata boy now based in Delhi. "It took off in 2004, just as we started getting our hands on computers." It's also the new status symbol and an attitude signal. "It can make you or break you." He spends 45 minutes a day on Facebook ("My cousin Miko checks it every hour"), has 600 Facebook friends ("Oh, some have 2,000") and has not changed his profile picture for eight months ("So people are not poking me as much as they used to"). Mimi says, everyone, even 11-12 year-olds, has a Facebook account: "They all say they are 18". Ask her how, and she says "Duh!".
"Duh" is a slice of teen sarcasm aimed at people who state the obvious. What it hides is the danger of entering the world of strangers when you are not quite ready for it. Exactly what happened this week to two teens in Mumbai when they allegedly typed "what's up?" to strike a chat with their principal on Facebook and followed it up with "F***k off" and "Go to hell". One got away. But censured at home and suspended from school for a month, the younger boy, 13, has possibly learnt the lesson of his life. "It's the nature of the medium," says Shelja Sen, consultant psychologist in Delhi, "You can't be held accountable. You don't have eye contact. And you can be as nasty and aggressive as you please." Soapy has a different explanation: "Facebook is like a road. You can bump into anybody but would you speak to all and sundry? Younger people just don't get it. They are not the Facebook generation, you see."
Despite those highs and lows, Facebook is the place where they measure each other's cool quotient. And every teen is aware of the subterranean war of attitude and outlook that rages on the social networking website. As everyone checks out everyone else, the profiles send out varying signals. A massive friend count means, "Don't expect me to give you too much attention." A nicely photoshopped Wall indicates, "I am so weird, wacky and wonderful." Profile shots updated on hourly basis mean, "Check me out, I'm cool".
If you look bad in a photograph, you will be tagged 'Hahaha'. To avoid that label, the pressure to look good on sites goes up tremendously and vanity becomes the byword. "I know girls who put in 'photo albums' of their face taken from different angles," says Rahi, a 14-year-old Mumbai student. The most-feared word among girls, not surprisingly, is "fugly"-a combination of fat and ugly-she points out. "For boys, the in thing now is to flaunt sixpack abs, if they have it," points out Soapy. "And a lot of people are posting pictures taken in a loo-home or a fivestar- in front of the mirror."
Mimi's primary function on Facebook is to keep in touch with boys she meets at socials. She has a lot of "guy friends" and she helps them check out profiles of interesting girls ("Girls they can hit on"). For Rahi, it's a great way to flirt with boys ("I can say things I could never say on their face"). The moment Piu, 15, a student of Modern High School in Kolkata, started dating a year ago, she announced it to the world by changing her "relationship status" from "single to engaged" ("I loved the attention I got".) Her friend, Mou, recalls the only time her parents banned Facebook: "I changed my relationship status to 'widowed' when I broke up with my boyfriend. Some people reported to my parents and there was a huge drama at home."
The year was 2004, when a sex clip, passed around by a bragging schoolboy to his friends, made its way to video disc-sellers in Delhi. The MMS scandal and its unapologetic teen hero and heroine sent shockwaves across urban India, even making it to the iconic Anurag Kashyap film, Dev.D. Today, most teens seem to know couples who post intimate photographs for joy, of girls who get flamed on the Net, of friends who are stalked and bullied by strangers on the cyber space. According to a survey done by Chennaibased NGO, Tulir, 42 per cent of teens on the Net face harassment online. But Taki reassures: "Chill. You can make your account secure. And, really, everybody's smart enough to avoid unknown people on the Net
"I am a virgin. But I know everything about everything," Mimi, a 15-year-old Bangalore girl, flips her ponytail, looking around to make sure all eyes are on her. "Everyone I know has touched first base, at least." That's "kissing and necking", she explains to her parents. Notes are regularly exchanged between girls after sexual encounters and discarded i-Pill packs are often found in the bathrooms of the posh convent she studies in. "I'm sure you won't remain a virgin by the time you turn 18," her mother interjects tearfully. "Dude, will you let me finish," Mimi rebukes. "I'm not stupid enough to get into trouble."
Trouble is the one certain truth about her: she is a teenager. A face among the nation's 250 million adolescents- the world's largest. But how well does the nation know her? Not enough, going by the furore over the new Protection of Children From Sexual Offences Bill, 2010 proposed by the Ministry of Women and Child Development ("Does it mean 12-year-olds will start having sex?"). But now a host of surveys is figuring out what it means to be a teenager: they pack in 38 hours of activities into a day- work, chat, browse, talk, SMS, Twitter, Facebook, smoke, drink, splurge, do drugs, have sex, get pregnant-and they can't wait for the future to arrive. Unknown to the nation at large, teenage seems to have taken on a whole new meaning. To Delhibased counsellor Gitanjali Kapoor, it's a cultural moment: "Constant exposure of different types of media is enhancing their inquisitiveness, encouraging them to question and stretch their boundaries."
Not that the teens care. For them, it's LOL (Lots Of Love) all the way. Sex is cool because, gosh, everybody's doing it. Twenty-five out of 100 teenage girls in a big-city school are sexually active, reports the Indian Association of Paediatricians. But to Taki, 19, a Delhi girl (who prefers to be known by her nickname like the rest of her peer group in this story), that's a gross underassessment: "Over 75 per cent of my classmates are not virgins". Some of them are into serious romance, some are "just FWBs" ("Friends With Benefits. Not dating but together... just a convenience thing".) Some boys carry condoms in their pockets because they don't know when "they might get lucky". During high school socials, dark corners of the venue are "reserved" by couples beforehand, so that they can go and "do it" in a crowded room, "just for the thrill of it", Mimi explains.
In the world of adults, statistic is truth. And surveys reveal*, it's a generation that spends 10 hours a day on some sort of a media, two hours on social networking sites, 1.6 hours on the phone, four hours 23 minutes a week on computer games. While 66 per cent carry mobile phones to school, 47 per cent can't live without TV. Over 45 per cent drink alcohol five times a month and 14 per cent use tobacco. Yet 70 per cent teens show signs of depression and 48 per cent think about suicide. A survey released by one of Bollywood's biggest hits last year, Udaan-all about a 17-year-old boy, who gets expelled from boarding school for sneaking out to watch a semi-porn film-shows: one in five teens watches porn before age 13; every second teen necks and kisses, 15 per cent in the school loo; one out of five claims to have had sex; 90 per cent believe in premarital sex, with 45 per cent of girls opting for clandestine abortions.
If every generation needs a cultural marker, Facebook is the canvas on which the digitally nimble teens spill their secrets. What used to be the rush to the school canteen to tell everyone what's going on has become the rush to social networking sites. "We are the original Facebook generation," says Soapy, 17, a Kolkata boy now based in Delhi. "It took off in 2004, just as we started getting our hands on computers." It's also the new status symbol and an attitude signal. "It can make you or break you." He spends 45 minutes a day on Facebook ("My cousin Miko checks it every hour"), has 600 Facebook friends ("Oh, some have 2,000") and has not changed his profile picture for eight months ("So people are not poking me as much as they used to"). Mimi says, everyone, even 11-12 year-olds, has a Facebook account: "They all say they are 18". Ask her how, and she says "Duh!".
"Duh" is a slice of teen sarcasm aimed at people who state the obvious. What it hides is the danger of entering the world of strangers when you are not quite ready for it. Exactly what happened this week to two teens in Mumbai when they allegedly typed "what's up?" to strike a chat with their principal on Facebook and followed it up with "F***k off" and "Go to hell". One got away. But censured at home and suspended from school for a month, the younger boy, 13, has possibly learnt the lesson of his life. "It's the nature of the medium," says Shelja Sen, consultant psychologist in Delhi, "You can't be held accountable. You don't have eye contact. And you can be as nasty and aggressive as you please." Soapy has a different explanation: "Facebook is like a road. You can bump into anybody but would you speak to all and sundry? Younger people just don't get it. They are not the Facebook generation, you see."
Despite those highs and lows, Facebook is the place where they measure each other's cool quotient. And every teen is aware of the subterranean war of attitude and outlook that rages on the social networking website. As everyone checks out everyone else, the profiles send out varying signals. A massive friend count means, "Don't expect me to give you too much attention." A nicely photoshopped Wall indicates, "I am so weird, wacky and wonderful." Profile shots updated on hourly basis mean, "Check me out, I'm cool".
If you look bad in a photograph, you will be tagged 'Hahaha'. To avoid that label, the pressure to look good on sites goes up tremendously and vanity becomes the byword. "I know girls who put in 'photo albums' of their face taken from different angles," says Rahi, a 14-year-old Mumbai student. The most-feared word among girls, not surprisingly, is "fugly"-a combination of fat and ugly-she points out. "For boys, the in thing now is to flaunt sixpack abs, if they have it," points out Soapy. "And a lot of people are posting pictures taken in a loo-home or a fivestar- in front of the mirror."
Mimi's primary function on Facebook is to keep in touch with boys she meets at socials. She has a lot of "guy friends" and she helps them check out profiles of interesting girls ("Girls they can hit on"). For Rahi, it's a great way to flirt with boys ("I can say things I could never say on their face"). The moment Piu, 15, a student of Modern High School in Kolkata, started dating a year ago, she announced it to the world by changing her "relationship status" from "single to engaged" ("I loved the attention I got".) Her friend, Mou, recalls the only time her parents banned Facebook: "I changed my relationship status to 'widowed' when I broke up with my boyfriend. Some people reported to my parents and there was a huge drama at home."
The year was 2004, when a sex clip, passed around by a bragging schoolboy to his friends, made its way to video disc-sellers in Delhi. The MMS scandal and its unapologetic teen hero and heroine sent shockwaves across urban India, even making it to the iconic Anurag Kashyap film, Dev.D. Today, most teens seem to know couples who post intimate photographs for joy, of girls who get flamed on the Net, of friends who are stalked and bullied by strangers on the cyber space. According to a survey done by Chennaibased NGO, Tulir, 42 per cent of teens on the Net face harassment online. But Taki reassures: "Chill. You can make your account secure. And, really, everybody's smart enough to avoid unknown people on the Net
Thursday, 7 February 2013
August 16, 2012 4:29 PM IST
International Prostitution Racket Busted at New Delhi Airport; 37 Girls Rescued
The Social Service Branch (SSB) of Mumbai police rescued 37 sex workers from New Delhi's Indira Gandhi International Airport on Wednesday, DNA reported.
The girls, who were a part of a high profile international sex racket, were being trafficked to Dubai and were about to board a flight when the SSB officials with the help of Delhi police nabbed the pimps and rescued the girls.
Most of them were brought from Mumbai and the rest from Hyderabad. They were all in their early twenties and were allegedly forced into the flesh trade.
"The women were being taken there on a three month work visa stating that they are artists. Most of the women are aged between 20-25," BG Shekhar of SSB, who headed the team, told the daily.
"Some of them are from Hyderabad and other states. Around 27 of the rescued women are from Mumbai," he said.
"The women were being taken there on a three month work visa stating that they are artists. Most of the women are aged between 20-25," BG Shekhar of SSB, who headed the team, told the daily.
"Some of them are from Hyderabad and other states. Around 27 of the rescued women are from Mumbai," he said.
The police recieved a tip-off about the racket through a complaint filed by one of the victims.
"One of the victims had lodged a complaint with us that she has been induced on the pretext of dance performance to gulf countries. After detailed investigation and follow up we succeeded in rescuing the girls and arrested the pimps," Shekhar said.
The two pimps have been held and the rescued girls have been sent to a shelter in Mumbai after medical examination.
During the recent raids at brothels all across the country, several such rackets have been busted. Police claimed that the latest incident at the airport is the biggest bust so far.
Last month, another such prostitution racket was busted in Shillong, where nearly seven women from Assam and three men were held from a hotel during a raid.
Earlier this year in February, seven sex workers were rescued in central Delhi. Their 40-year-old pimp was arrested by police.
In January, six women allegedly involved in two prostitution rackets in Bangalore were arrested by a squad of Central Crime Branch.
In a similar bust in Mysore, six men were arrested and four girls, including one from Bangladesh and one from Nepal, were rescued during a raid in April this year.
"One of the victims had lodged a complaint with us that she has been induced on the pretext of dance performance to gulf countries. After detailed investigation and follow up we succeeded in rescuing the girls and arrested the pimps," Shekhar said.
The two pimps have been held and the rescued girls have been sent to a shelter in Mumbai after medical examination.
During the recent raids at brothels all across the country, several such rackets have been busted. Police claimed that the latest incident at the airport is the biggest bust so far.
Last month, another such prostitution racket was busted in Shillong, where nearly seven women from Assam and three men were held from a hotel during a raid.
Earlier this year in February, seven sex workers were rescued in central Delhi. Their 40-year-old pimp was arrested by police.
In January, six women allegedly involved in two prostitution rackets in Bangalore were arrested by a squad of Central Crime Branch.
In a similar bust in Mysore, six men were arrested and four girls, including one from Bangladesh and one from Nepal, were rescued during a raid in April this year.
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